For about 4,000 years humans have been making New Year’s Resolutions. But, as we all know, picking our New Year’s Resolutions can be difficult because it is challenging to identify what we really want. To help with that challenge, I have done some research to help choose goals for 2020:
- Determine why you’re choosing a goal. Ask yourself why you chose the resolution that came to mind. Consider, “Why do I want to do this?” or “What do I think it will give me?”
- Keep asking why until you feel something that is deeper than just “because.” Most often, the core desire is an emotion or state of mind such as peace, joy, calm, or love. These are the foundations of our authentic goals.
- Is the resolution kind and loving? Shame-based resolutions are pointless and tend to make you more miserable. Ask yourself: “Is the tone of my resolution supportive, or is it fear-based, and linked with ‘I’m not good enough until I…?'” You don’t want to keep putting yourself down, because then you won’t accomplish what you want to do.
- Consider if your goal is focused on the destination or the journey. If you focus on the path you walk, rather than the ending point, chances are you will have a much better year than you had originally thought. You are more likely to have a better outcome.
- Pick unstated values for your goals. Have you expressed your own values the way you would like to? If not, ask yourself: “How could I express this value more?”
- Avoid restrictive goals. Resolutions that focus on rigid behavior changes or very specific outcomes, like diets and losing weight, are likely not coming from your core. These resolutions are often about non-acceptance and control so they don’t work that well. Lasting change rarely comes from using force or external motivation. In my experience, lasting change comes from letting go, accepting, allowing, and discovering. When these are present, it connects you to your essential self, and ditches the whole idea of fixing yourself.
- Keep your goals open and broad. These open and gentle resolutions create space for curiosity, discovery and personal growth throughout the entire year. And isn’t that what you want?
- Tune into your body. Your body’s response to your resolution can tell you whether it is worth it or not. If you feel heavy or resistant, then that resolution is most likely not the best for you. Your body is telling you to drop that resolution!
- Satisfy your true hunger. When ‘shoulds’ become your resolutions, you ignore your true desires. You have to stop and look at what you’re really hungry for, whether it can be satisfied outside yourself, and whether your resolutions can really satisfy you in the way you want.
- Remember that resolutions are optional! If you don’t feel like doing them this year, then don’t! You shouldn’t feel pressured into setting goals, intentions, or words of the year. And if you do, you should find where that pressure is coming from and release it.
These are my findings to help with tough decisions right before the New Year arrives. Just remember that resolutions are not required, and you should always be positive about it! Negativity is very toxic, and not only hurts you, but the ones you love!
Happy New Year!
Kiara Poitra
Receptionist & Events Coordinator
Sturgis Area Chamber of Commerce & Visitors Bureau